


Fake love, Shattered heart

by DNA_DreamsNeverAlone23



Series: Malec Special Short Stories [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Shadowhunters (TV), M/M, Malec, Sad with a Happy Ending, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 02:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17520107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DNA_DreamsNeverAlone23/pseuds/DNA_DreamsNeverAlone23
Summary: Malec short story – 2 chapters end.When Magnus was haunted by some awful bad memories, he was calling Alec by phone at the edge of night to seek comfort from Alec. Can Alec help Magnus to get rid of those nightmares successfully? Or Magnus may be defeated by his anxiety and depression at last?————————————*SPECIAL FOR CHINESE READERS ONLY! CHINESE VERSION of 'Fake love, Shattered heart' is AVAILABLE NOW!至所有中文读者！改编翻译《幸福假象》简体中文版可前往：https://novel.banananetwork.com.my/book/851





	1. Edge of the night

For you, I could pretend like I was happy when I was sad.  
For you, I could pretend like I was strong when I was hurt.  
I wish love was perfect as love itself. I wish all my weaknesses could be hidden.  
I grew a flower that can’t be bloomed in a dream that can’t come true.  
\--- (Translation Lyrics from FAKE LOVE – by BTS)

New York Institute, in Alec’s bedroom.  
Alec already falls asleep when his phone ringing in the middle of the night. Alec is blinking his eyes sleepily, then trying to get his phone which placed on the bedside table. 

“Hey… who is it?” Alec asked in hoarse tired voices. After a whole day busy for hunting demons, all he wanted was to have a better sleep now. 

“It’s me…” A familiar man’s voices came through the phone.

“Magnus…?” Alec was looked surprised and sit upright instantly. He checked the caller name on phone screen again for double confirm. It is really weird that Magnus called him at this late night, Alec is getting worried, not sure if Magnus having any troubles which need his help on it?

Magnus, who was standing at the balcony nodded his head silently as an answer for Alec.

“What’s wrong? Hey, Magnus, say something, please. Are you okay?” Alec asked again. Normally Alec will stay at Magnus’s home, but today is quite a special case because Alec was busy for Shadowhunter job with Jace and Isabelle. However, Alec already informed Magnus about he will sleep at Institute tonight, so how come Magnus is calling him again at such time?

“Don’t worry, nothing happened. Just… I wish to hear your voices……” Magnus tried to say in a cheerful tone, but his eyes are full of sorrow. 

Alec chuckled. “So, you called me at the edge of the night just to hear my voices?”

“Yes,” Magnus replied. “Sorry to disturb you… But I can’t get sleep without you by my side.”

Alec smiled softly. “Hey, just for today only. I told you in the earlier conversation, I will go back to your home tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know.” Of course, Magnus knows about that, but he is just can’t control himself.

“I miss you.” After a short moment of silence, Magnus said in a low tone.

Alec stunned and then speaks in soft voices. “Me too.” When the tiredness attacking Alec again, he is yawning and tries to stretch his arms and neck to keep him awake.

Magnus’s heart was dropped and getting heavier when he realized that he is causing troubles to Alec. He apologizes again. “Sorry about that, I know you must be very tired now. Go get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Magnus, WAIT!” Alec stopped Magnus from hang up the phone quickly.

“Hmm… What?” Magnus frowns and looked confused.

Alec takes a deep breath. “Magnus, are you sure you are fine?”

“Yeah, why not?” Magnus said, even he is not sure about this answer.

“…Would you like to come over?” Alec asked.

Don’t know how to describe it, but some strange feelings are stirring Alec’s heart now. He feels that something has happened and Magnus is in troubles, although Magnus is not telling him and keep him a distance. So, Alec is trying to seek the truth. He wants to make sure on his own, to confirm Magnus is always fine and good.

Magnus was holding his phone tightly, not sure did he heard wrong.  
“What did you just said?” Magnus tries to re-confirm it again. “Did you asked me to go over there?”

Alec sighed, defeated by his own desire. Then, he gives instruction to Magnus directly. “Magnus, open a portal and come to my side now.”

“Are you sure about that? I am a warlock and you are now at Institute. Furthermore, the time is such late now…” Magnus is in hesitation, not really sure if this a good decision?

“No need to worry about the others, I will take care on it. Come, I miss you.” Alec admitted his feeling towards Magnus honestly, tries to gives Magnus some courage on it.

Magnus feels the warmth on his heart, thinking that how sweet of his young boyfriend. Even sometimes Alec is quite obtuse and slow to respond, but sometimes he is a quite sensitive person too. Magnus has an intuition that he can’t explain, but Magnus has a strong feeling that maybe Alec already senses his insecure feeling and abnormal behavior.

“Alexander.” Magnus bit his lower lip and tried so hard to suppress his emotions. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine, I promise.” Even he is not fine, but once the sun goes up again, tomorrow everything will back to normal, right?

“Magnus.” Alec sighed, can’t help himself but thinking back few earlier times of similar experiences that Magnus is trying to hide his real thoughts and feeling from Alec, just not to make Alec worry about him.

From Alec’s understanding of Magnus, Magnus is really that kind of stupid person. Because Magnus always like to pretend that he was happy when he was sad, and always pretend that like nothing happened even when he was damn hurt and broken inside. Magnus is stubborn as always, seems like wanted to hide all his weakness and pretend to be strong, even he was not in a good shape.

“I think I should probably hang up the phone. It’s late, you should take a rest and get back to sleep now. Goodbye, Alexander.” Magnus faked a silent smile with tears and ended the call quickly before Alec can stop him in time. 

Looking at the phone, Alec is totally in blank mind.  
He wonders what’s going on? What exactly happened on Magnus?

On the other hand, Magnus is standing in a daze at the balcony alone. The wind is cold and the night is darker. Magnus just holding his phone and standing at there, let his tears falling down from his eyes and cheek, then sobbing with the lonely moon in the night sky.

There is something that he doesn’t tell Alec. Something about his nightmare and the loneliness. Something about his ugly bad side and the worst time of his life. The untold stories from past memories.

Everyone has a secret, doesn’t it?  
Magnus kept his secret by his own, not wanting to let anybody else in, not willing to cry for help even his heart is shattering and tearing apart piece by piece.

 

[To Be Continued]


	2. I’m with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking at the phone, Alec is totally in blank mind.  
> He wonders what’s going on? What exactly happened on Magnus?
> 
> On the other hand, Magnus is standing in a daze at the balcony alone. The wind is cold and the night is darker. Magnus just holding his phone and standing at there, let his tears falling down from his eyes and cheek, then sobbing with the lonely moon in the night sky.
> 
> There is something that he doesn’t tell Alec. Something about his nightmare and the loneliness. Something about his ugly bad side and the worst time of his life. The untold stories from past memories.
> 
> Everyone has a secret, doesn’t it?  
> Magnus kept his secret by his own, not wanting to let anybody else in, not willing to cry for help even his heart is shattering and tearing apart piece by piece.

Magnus’s apartment.   
It is over about 30 minutes after Magnus ended the conversation by phone with Alec. Then, Magnus is hearing that someone is knocking at his door. 

‘Who is it?’ Magnus feeling curious and wiping his tears away. After taking a few deep breathes to soothing his emotions, Magnus walks slowly to the entrance door. 

“Alexander?!” Magnus looked totally surprises when he saw who is the person that exactly coming to his home at this late night.

Alec is feeling the heartaches when he noticed Magnus’s tired red watery eyes. “Magnus, are you crying? What happened to you? TELL ME!” Alec asked in concern while he is closing the door and walking into the home with Magnus. 

“I’m fine.” Magnus lied.

Alec sighed heavily. He hugged Magnus tightly and tapping Magnus’s back gently to comfort him. “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

“Alexander…” Magnus is feeling that he almost wants to cry again.

“You just hang up the phone like that, you know what… I'm damn worried about you. Hey, now, tell me what’s is going on? Let me help you, please.” Alec tries to convince Magnus with a soft tone.

But Magnus is shaking his head, trying to deny his negative feeling. “You are thinking too much. I already told you, I’m good.”

“Seriously?” Alec asked in an unhappy tone. “Don’t lie to me. Magnus, please, let me help you.”

Magnus remained at silent mode, but his face looked so sad. Alec sighed again, then he holds Magnus’s hand and leads Magnus direct to the bedroom. Magnus follows Alec’s steps carefully but does not say anything more.

There is a long silence before they both talking again. Alec laying down on the bed with Magnus, he hugging Magnus tightly to comfort his boyfriend. 

“Magnus, you know, right? I am damn tired and sleepy.” Alec said and can’t control himself from yawning to prove his statement. 

“I know. That’s why you should get sleep. I don’t even know why are you coming here? You should probably stay at Institute and take a good rest tonight.” Magnus replied in a low tone. Meanwhile, he is hugging Alec’s chest tightly to feel the warmth.

Alec murmurs. “Are you kidding me? How can I sleep well after you hang up my phone like that? And now, how can I get sleep after I know you are crying for an unknown reason?”

Magnus biting his lips and stay silent. 

“Magnus, what happened?” Alec asked again. He is really wanted to know the truth. “Please tell me, what made you being so sad and broken? I know you are just crying, don’t lie to me. I know that you can’t hide your sadness from me. So, just being honest to me, please.”

“Just… Nothing.” Magnus tries to close his eyes, but the nightmare is coming back and haunted him over and over again. Magnus opens his wide shocked eyes, looked frighten and panting. 

“Magnus? Are you okay?” Noticed the unusual behavior of Magnus, Alec shows his concern quickly. Alec can sense it, there is something wrong on Magnus, but he cannot be sure what is going on now.

“Nothing.” Magnus denied again. But at the same time, he is trying to lean closer to Alec with his trembling hands.

Alec is getting worried. “Magnus, you are trembling and felt so cold in sweat! Are you sick? Come, let me check over you!” Alec tries to sit up and want to check on Magnus, but Magnus stopped him. 

“I’m good.” Magnus keeps denying himself, however, his falling tears are betraying him.

Alec sighed and surrendered by his lover’s tears.  
“Come.” Alec cuddled Magnus into his arms in tight. 

“Alexander… I’m sorry.” 

“Why apologize to me suddenly?”

“I don’t know.” Magnus is sobbing now.

Alec pressed a gentle kiss on Magnus's forehead, then he assured to Magnus. “Everything gonna be alright. No matter what happened, I am here.” Alec blinking his eyes tiredly with a racing worry heart. 

“You should sleep. I know you are tired.” Magnus said.

Alec sighed with a soft smile. “You should know I am worried about you too. And I won’t sleep until you tell me the reason. Why are you feeling so sad all in sudden? What matter bothers you?”

“It’s all in the past now. Sorry, but I don’t feel like talking about these.” Magnus tries to close his eyes again. He is feeling tired too, so he hopes he can get some sleep now with Alec by his side.

“It’s okay. I can understand your feeling.” Although Magnus does not tell anything to Alec, Alec is not feeling too bad at all. 

“I hope you don’t get angry with me because of I’m not telling you those my nightmares stories.” Magnus is a bit worried about that.

But then, Alec is just smiling softly, then he says. “Don’t be silly, Magnus. You just need to remember that I’ll always be here whenever you feeling like to talk anything about yourself. But it is okay too if you not really wish to share it. I’m cool with that.”

“Really?” Magnus raises up his head and gazing at Alec with a slight surprise look.

“Yep.” Alec continues. “I love that you can just be yourself when you are being with me. Even you’re not wanted to share your troubles, but at least you are true to me. And, I believe that you will share your stories with me soon.”

“Why?” Magnus is wondering how come Alec looked so confident?

“Because I have faith in you, I know you are trusting me too. You will tell me everything about you by yourself very soon, I know that it’s just the time matters.” Alec pressed another gentle kiss on Magnus' forehead. 

“Don’t be so cocky. In fact, I also don’t know myself. I’m not sure if I have the courage to let you know everything about my past… Those awful memories are really nothing but the worst nightmares. Trust me, you won’t like to hear it either.” Magnus sighed heavily. He rested his head on Alec’s chest, feeling the heat from his lover to warm his cold heart directly. Listening to Alec’s smooth breathing sound, this is the best thing in this world ever.

“Magnus, little do you know about me. Don’t underestimate my love to you, and never look so down on yourself.”

Magnus smiles softly with tears but does not speak a word. He wonders can Alec noticed that actually Magnus had been kept holding back himself. He did love Alec, but there is still something that Magnus did not really prepare to share. And also, Magnus is afraid to surrender the whole of himself to Alec, his heart and his true-self included. Magnus lived a long life, there are too many past stories and a very thick ‘family and personal background history’ that Magnus not sure if Alec can understand all of it or not.

“Love takes efforts, doesn’t it? Even this is not the right time, but I know you are the right person for me. Magnus, I am here with you. And I will always be here for you.” 

The word ‘always’ still has a time limitation. Magnus knows clearly than Alec himself. How can an immortal life always enjoy the love from the mortal? They will still be apart one day when the death comes to take away Alec’s life merciless. 

“The ‘always’ doesn’t means the ‘eternity’,” Magnus said in a sad tone.

Alec stunned for a while, then he speaks again.  
“Even though I might not be able to be with you all the time, but my heart will go on, and my love to you will live forever. As long as you need it, you will always have it.”

Magnus takes a deep breath and measures Alec with his both eyes. There is something in Alec is truly precious and totally different from Magnus’s ex-lovers. Alec is so true and sincere. 

“Life is unpredictable, just let us cherish the moment. Remember these sentences or not? This is the thing what you always telling me when we are in the beginning stage, just started our relationship together.” Alec kissed Magnus’s top of the head again. 

Yeah, that is the thing that Magnus usually teaching Alec at the beginning. However, why Magnus is become so hesitant and unsure what to do, what to say now? Day by day, Magnus is loving Alec so deeply. Maybe this is the reason that what had been changing Magnus. And, make Magnus become more frangible and lack of self-confidence.

“It seems my love to you had made me vulnerable.” Magnus self-mocking himself. 

Alec just shaking his head slightly. “But it is weird because my love to you had made me stronger than ever. Magnus, you make me a better person and I love my changes.”

“Or maybe… It’s just because I am getting older now? So I am thinking too much and consider too many unnecessary troubles?” Magnus sighed.

“You are old indeed because of your ages, but you are not that old too. To me, you are just like a little boy who likes to cling with me.” Alec laughing carefree when he thinks of how adorable, whiny and clingy sometimes that Magnus can be. 

Magnus pouting his lips and looked not that amuse on Alec’s explanation.   
“You said that like I am a child, but I am not!”

“Of course, you are not a child. Magnus, you are a grown man now. Therefore, you shall be able to understand how sincere I am and how deep is my love to you.” Alec yawning again and sly sniff to immerse themselves in Magnus’s scent.

“Oh Magnus, you are smell so good to me.” Alec smiles foolishly.

“When life itself is not that perfect, I hope that at least you won’t shatter my fragile heart. Handle me with care, clear my doubts and hug me tight. Hold my hands and tell me that you will never leave.” Magnus asked in a pleasing sound. “Will you, my angel…?” 

“Needless to say. Come, let’s us get some proper sleep, I am damn sleepy now.”

“You do not answer to my question yet,” Magnus complains in a soft voice.

“When you become such an insecure lover? I thought it’s my rights to be so clingy to you and troublesome. Haha~” 

Before Magnus able to say anything else, Alec turns over his body above Magnus, then he leans over and kisses Magnus on lips to stop Magnus from talking. Once the long and passionate kisses ended, both of them barely to catch their breath. 

“I thought you are sleepy, but you looked so energetic now.” Magnus touching Alec’s face gently. 

Alec smiles, then he is lying down beside Magnus and hug him tightly.  
“Hey, listen to me…”

“I am listening.”

“That’s my good boy.”

“Not a boy since so long already.”

Alec ignores Magnus’s complaint, then just continue to talk with a sincere tone.   
“I don’t care if you are going to tell me everything about your past or not. In frankly, it’s all in past, just like what you said. I must admit that is still a concern in my heart, but I will not push you that far again. If you want to talk, then I will listen. But if you are not ready yet, I am okay with that too.”

“Alexander…”

“Only one thing that I will never give in. I want you to remember, I am here for you whenever you need me. So, please, never try to handle it all alone if you know clearly that you can’t cope with it by yourself. Talk to me when you feel the need to, I am here, Magnus. Even you are broken and shattered, I will also try my best to pick you up piece by piece. Got that?” Alec raises his eyebrows with a serious look and waiting patiently for Magnus’s response.

Magnus just nodded his head slightly. “I’ll try.”

“That’s good. Because I’ll never let you go, so you better learn to get used of me as your over-protective, troublesome and annoying boyfriend.” After a tired yawn again, Alec closing his both eyes. 

“Now, let us get some sleep. I bet you can sleep tight now with me by your side.” Alec pressed another kiss on Magnus’s forehead, and his voices are getting slower and lower. “Make sure you are dreaming about me in your sleep, my love.”

Magnus chuckled. “Fine, I’ll try on this too. You should dream about me, deal?”

There is a pause and Alec no longer say anything more. Magnus feels curious and looking at Alec’s sleeping face, then a warmth feeling overwhelming him. 

“Alexander.” Magnus calling his boyfriend’s name gently.

Alec is groaning softly in his sleep as an answer. Magnus smiles and cuddles to Alec close. Alec’s breathing sound is as smooth as Magnus’s heartbeat. Everything seems so fine now.

“Good night, my guardian angel. With you by my side, nothing I will be afraid.”

Magnus tries to close his eyes and fall asleep again.  
This time, the nightmare and those ugly memories leave him alone. Only Magnus’s cheerful angel, Alexander appears in his sweet dreams while sleeping. 

 

[The End]

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, new update again!  
> Hmm... Feel free to leave a comment after reading, much love ya!
> 
> Sorry if any wrong grammar and poor writing. Newbie writer feels lazy to send to my Beta reader for grammar and typo checking. (Don't beat me, please! T_T) Lately quite busy due to CNY coming soon... Well, hope you all can enjoy the story.
> 
> P.S. If you love my story, you may check out my profile to read my other works too! Thanks~
> 
> ————————————
> 
> *SPECIAL FOR CHINESE READERS ONLY! CHINESE VERSION of 'Fake love, Shattered heart' is AVAILABLE NOW!
> 
> 至所有中文读者！  
> 改编翻译《幸福假象》简体中文版可前往：  
> https://novel.banananetwork.com.my/book/851


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